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Feature: Here’s a Weird and Unlikely Theory on Why Konami is Acting Stupid

Kyle has been spending a lot of time talking to strangers on weird subreddits, forums, and bus stops, and what he’s learned is that some of those people will believe anything. Here’s what Kyle makes of one of the bonkers theories behind Konami’s and Kojima’s breakup. Tin foil hats at the ready…

Gamers who spend much of their time engrossed in the collective gaming world know all about Konami and what they’ve done as of late. I could write an entire piece on the subject, but for those out of the loop I’ll make it short. Konami more or less treated Metal Gear Solid creator/director/producer/everythinger like a cheap dime store hood. The only problem is that Mr. Kojima is nothing of the sort. P.T. was cancelled, our favorite icon couldn’t attend events or speak on certain issues, and anyone affiliated with the legend was blacklisted in some circles. There’s been “official” and unofficial reasons or theories on why Konami started acting like a woman scorned, but there’s been another reason in my mind for some time now.

Let me first start off by saying that I do not believe this theory I’m about to present. It’s nothing more than connecting two coincidences together. For those wondering why I decided to write about it anyway, resident dictator Chris Harding demands feature pieces and I was kind of dry on those this week. (Please don’t punish me I have a family!) Or maybe my subconscious is connected to the everlasting cosmos and through a series of multiverses courtesy of string theory, it’s trying to tell me I’m right? Hey, you chose to read this piece.

My theory essentially stems from one factor. For the longest time Hideo Kojima wanted to stop working on the Metal Gear Solid franchise. Back in 2001 Mr. Kojima wanted someone else to take over the series after MGS2. Later, he definitively said Snake Eater was the last chapter. Then MGS4 was the wrap-up for everything (especially with those hour-long ending cutscenes am I right?). Obviously we know those statements weren’t true, or at least turned out not to be. Where am I going with this hysteria laced conspiracy theory you say? Well, it turns out that Kojima really did love the Metal Gear Solid name and wanted to see his work done. However, there was something else keeping him tied to his most famous work.

Some of us wonderful humans think it’s a good idea to threaten people’s lives if they don’t entertain us in the way they deem fit. Yup, Kojima received death threats several times and most notably regarding the development of Metal Gear Solid 4. In fact, associates pleaded with him to spearhead the project so those threats couldn’t come to fruition. Plus, if this was happening who knows what else other people were doing to keep Hideo on board. You probably see where I’m going with this now right?

What if Hideo Kojima’s only way out of the Metal Gear Solid titles was if his employers took action? Both from keeping Kojima away from his artistic passion he couldn’t escape and from the horrible human beings among us who mean him harm. That way the blame would all be directed at a faceless corporation who was preventing our hero from doing what he wants. Kojima is blameless. Thus Konami “fires” him and proceeds to treat him like crap so no one is the wiser.

To add even more backing, why not create a short demo for a game and reveal it is as a sequel to a stapled franchise in the form of P.T. That way we’d assume no company would go to such lengths to get Kojima off Metal Gear. After all, maybe the team over at Kojima Productions were already working on Death Stranding and used a little bit of their time to crank out the smokeshow with Norman Reedus? So not only is our titular developer free to work on another game, but also enjoy life away from MGS without death threats and fear for his safety. Why would Konami go through all this trouble and tarnish their reputation this way you ask? Well, hypothetical reader in my mind, I’m glad you asked.

Konami isn’t exactly a beacon of gaming today like it was in the past. It hasn’t really made a splash in these past two generations. As of right now (excluding Metal Gear Solid) all it has is PES to its name compared to the classics of old. Even on the PS3 I could only name Castlevania: Lords of Shadow and El Shaddai: Ascension of Metatron as good games. Which may be why the company has invested in *throw up noise* pachinko machines. Point being the way of Konami wasn’t looking bright and after all Kojima did for them, they agreed to put on this song and dance which would allow him to work on other art. The man did make one of the most beloved and well-crafted series of all time. Would any of you not do a major favor for him?

Like I said before, even I don’t believe this fringe theory. Particularly because Konami literally attempted to screw Kojima Production’s employee’s health insurances. Yes, that was really a thing and I would need a short story’s runtime to go into it. That’s not even mentioning the company’s harassment and extortion claims either. Even I don’t think that level of theater is warranted to orchestrate the aforementioned master plan. As far as I believe…Konami is now run by petulant monkeys who have no idea how to express their negative emotions.

Is it possible Konami did all of this so Kojima could safely and enjoyably leave his magnum opus? Yes, according to string theory. Is it likely? No, probably not. In the meantime I’ll stick around for more Fuck Konami News courtesy of Jim Sterling. #FucKonami

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